Just got my copy of Bloodhorse in the mail saturday and it has all the past performances for the Derby contenders.  Here’s what I see….

•  Any Given Saturday - could find a way to go three wide in a two horse race.  Not the sort you want your Derby hanging on.
• Chelokee - Opportunistic run in the Florida Derby.  Before that maidens and ALW company.  Does he belong with these?
• Circular Quay - not one to believe in all the “must” and “mustn’ts” around the Derby, but he really has been off a long time.  One of the few stone cold closers in the field.  Have to consider in the exotics.  Will need some early speed to set him up.  Not sure he will get it.
• Cobalt Blue - Gave way in the Illinois Derby.  Nuff said.
• Cowtown Cat - Beat no one in the Illinois Derby.  Highly speculative
• Curlin - Lightly raced horses tend to get lost in the crowd in the Derby.  He may be a freak, but I doubt it.
• Dominican - Took him three races to break his maiden.  Made the most of the polystrange surface at KEE.
• Great Hunter - likes to run late, like his daddy.  But usually too late.
• Hard Spun - Will likely be the most overlooked 4 wins in 5 starts horse in the Derby field.  The one he lost is a throw out.  Very dangerous.
• King of the Roxy - Couldn’t hold for the victory in SA Derby. 
• Liquidity - No wins since maiden win.  Giacomo all over again?
• Nobiz Like Showbiz - Gutsy effort in the Wood.  Will likely be part of the pace in the Derby
• Reporting For Duty - No wins since maiden
• Sam P. - No graded wins
• Scat Daddy - A classic stalking style… just like several recent Derby winners.  Barely tested in the FL Derby.  Tough to overlook
• Slew’s Tizzy - there is a reason he went off at monster odds in the Coolmore. 
• Stormello - Won’t like the distance.  Could be part of the pace.  Potential theif?
• Storm in May - Making a career out of running second or third to legitimate Derby hopefuls
• Street Sense - Has done nothing to indicate he has regressed much since his big Juvenile win.  Training like a monster at Churchill.  Pushbutton speed.  The most likely choice to win.
• Teuflesberg - likely to be part of the pace in the Derby.
• Tiago - Wouldn’t bet half-brother of Giacomo in the Derby if he were coupled with Giacomo.  Will need a lot of pace to set him up.  There are better closers in the race.
• Zanjero - No wins besides Mdn and Alw.  Can’t see it.

Just read today that QEII has confirmed for the Derby.  Although she has been to Kentucky four times previously, she has never been to the Derby or to Louisville. 

Since this is her first time to the Derby, and I’ve been many times, I thought it would be appropriate to offer her some advice.  This could save her a lot of time and maybe some embarassment.

• Don’t be shy about soaking up the Derby experience.  Take a couple of those dudes in the tall furry hats with you (to make sure you don’t get groped) and make a pass through the third turn.  I bet you will say “Blimey” and “Bugger” at least once.
• If you camp outside the gates on Friday night, like I have a couple of times (so you can get prime real estate in the infield), avoid this guy who calls himself the Mayor of the Infield.  You can’t miss him.  He wears a tuxedo coat and a top hat and has a huge button that says “Mayor.”  He is an insufferable bore when he is drunk.  And he will be drunk.  In fact he is probably drunk right now.
• Tip the tellers.  No it doesn’t bring you good luck.  But when you’re the Queen of England people expect a tip for crying out loud.
• Get the $1000 mint julep available on Derby Day.  It’s so not worth it, but in case your friends don’t believe you were really there, you’ll need a nick-nack to prove it.  You can afford it.   
• Don’t be a sucker for the European horses.  The can’t hang with the Yank horses at Churchill.  That’s right, I said it.
• They run ‘em counterclockwise in North America.
• Don’t start cheering like a fool if your horse is in the lead the first time they pass under the wire.  It is the second one that counts.  I’m not saying you would do this, but the tracks are smaller in North America so they have to do a lap.  Everyone around you will be watching you, hoping for the chance to give the Brit crap for this common blunder.
• Put some extra cab money in your sock before you start betting and drinking heavily.  If you have a real bad day at the windows, you’ll be glad you did.
• Rock of Gibralter… Breeders’ Cup 2002..  Mick Kinane…  What the hell?
• Here’s a foolproof way to smuggle beer into the infield - take a twelve pack of Nestea or Sprite and dump out all the cans.  Then put nine of your favorite beer in the carton and then top it off with three of the Nestea’s.  Then glue the flap shut.  If the cops open up the carton, they see Nestea.  Trust me it works.  You can also take a watermelon and inject booze straight into it with a big syringe.  Makes for some tasty melon in the afternoon.  If you get caught, you didn’t hear this from me.
• Don’t expect the fact that you are the Queen of England to cut you any slack in the lines to the ladies room.  Plan ahead!
• Most importantly - opinions are plentiful on Derby Day but most people don’t know squat about racing.  Look me up and I’ll give you the Derby winner.  I’ll be wearing a khaki sport coat and a gold tie.

Hey, that’s all I have for now, but if I think of something else I’ll post another note.  Good luck Your Majesty!!

You can buy a photo of Green Monkey online here:  link

Maybe we should wait until he wins a race first.  Or at least until he runs a race.  Or at least until he is entered, or even considered for entry in a race.

I know he is named after some golf course in Barbados, but there are several ways they could have came up with the name “The Green Monkey”…

Green, as in green with envy…  as in the reason two of the most powerful men in racing, John Magnier and Sheikh Mohammed, representing Coolmore and Darley respectively, bid up the price tag on this unproven animal. 

Green, as in the color of money… fitting since his price tag maybe the only record this horse will ever hold.   $16 million at auction as a two year old.

Monkey… as in monkey with something, like what this horse’s price tag did to the average sale price for two year olds in 2006.

Monkey… like make a monkey out of someone.  Who could have known that the horse would never race?  Certainly not me.  But maybe it is for the best.  If he had raced and flopped the owner would look like an even bigger monkey.  This way it may remain a mystery.

Not long after the gavel fell at auction, Irish bookmaker Paddy Power opened a market on the future of the colt against winning the Kentucky Derby: 33-1. Against winning any race: 4-1.  I wish I had some of that action now.